Friday, 11 February 2011

Who Am I?... Identity Crisis Part One

I've been experiencing somewhat of an identity crisis recently... I guess it was always kind of inevitable between running 2 creative businesses with completely different and separate products and holding down a part time day job. Something has to give... eventually.

You may or may not know this but before Christmas I nearly quit my day job... and then I chickened out... I had my notice ready and everything, I even talked to the boss and then realised I just wasn't ready to let got of the financial and emotional crutch a part time job gives me.

Since then I have been struggling with the juggling act that my life has become, on top of that I have been attending printmaking classes at night school which is helping inspire me in new ways and new directions... and I can't choose... I just want to do it all. I am totally loving the effects I can get with lino cuts and have started the magpie project but I am also playing with etching and treated myself to a little table top press for Christmas. I have so many ideas that I have found myself frozen with indecision as to which I should do first.

I can't clone my self (but if there are any evil geniuses out there who would like to try I'm happy to let you) and I can add that extra day to the week between sunday and monday (I'd call it craft day!) I've written to my MP and I don't think he took me seriously. So I guess at some point quitting my day job will become a necessity rather than a day dream.

Owls from The Felt Menagerie

I have all the usual reservations about becoming a full time creative, will I be able to support myself? Will I be able to motivate myself? Can I sustain working creatively? And one of my own more unusual reservations.... will I turn in to some kind of bonkers hermit who grabs people in the street and screams "FOR GODS SAKE SOMEONE TALK TO ME!!!" Which is my biggest worry because I am not a social bunny and going to work allows me to come out of my little cocoon and act like a normal person on a regular basis!

Owl Etchings
Currently John and I are waiting to find out if we have got a new bigger, nicer flat... with a second bedroom which will function as a studio for me (sends up silent prayer to the Gods of real estate) so maybe with more space the choices I have will become clearer and easy to make. I'm hoping a whole room to work in will really help decide if this is something I can do 24/7... until then I'll be hanging around trying to do 20 things at once and going slightly bonkers... but hopefully not accosting random strangers to entertain me.


  1. Good luck what ever you choose to do Mel.

    Remember you always have your online friends to babble at aimlessly (saving those innocent strangers)


  2. good luck on your decision making. completely understand that frozen doing nothing thing :)

  3. Hope things work out for you Felt, I often wish there were more hours in the day! Good luck with the new flat x

  4. *hands out nice cuppa tea*

    I do hope you get the new flat with more space and it will help you decide better!

    I'm sure you'd be able to fully support yourself with both your shops and all your new ventures!

  5. Such a difficult decision to make! Both your shops are lovely and you have created a real "identity" within them. Hope the flat comes through as it might help you choose!

  6. Hope things work out for you! I know there are differences in the way you work in your two shops, but at least the theme of birds is there continually, joining the two. I flit about between crochet, paper arts, rubberstamping, sewing because that's just who I am and how I work, and I'd get bored otherwise. Then my other head is a maths consultant one. Maybe you just need to work out a way of making all three parts of you work together? It sounds like you need all three. Hope that helps, and I'm sure a studio will help too!